This is the third installment in the dating series. If you missed the first two you can view them here When is it Time to Date Again? and Reader Story: Finding Love After Divorce. Also, if you have a story about divorce or dating that you would like to submit, please email me.
Continuing the dating series I thought it would be fun to throw out my advice on dating a single mom and what I would now look for in a man. While all of us have slightly different expectations to meet, I think there are certain aspects that we as single moms would be looking for in a relationship.
Advice on Dating A Single Mom
Single mothers are strong and independent. We have had no option but to be this way. We have had our fair share of life experiences and in the end these experiences have only made us stronger. So, any man looking to date a single mother needs to be able to handle an independent woman.
Independence is only one trait of a single mother. For all the men out there interested in dating a single mom these are things I think you should know:
1.) Our Kids are the Most Important Thing to Us and Always Will Be. This means we want a man who is good with kids. You don’t have to be amazing with kids (although that wouldn’t hurt) but you have to like and be able to tolerate them. If you don’t have kids yourself then you probably aren’t used to a two year olds hour long tantrums or a teens rebellious attitude.
Kids are great but they can be difficult. You have to realize this. Also, most single moms are not looking for you to step in and be a father figure, especially in the beginning. Our kids already have fathers and you need to know that’s not your role. However, if things got serious we would want you to develop a relationship with the kids and would hope that you would grow to love them.
2.)You Need to be Stable. You need to have a stable job and living arrangements. Single moms have enough to worry about, the last thing we are looking for is a flaky man. We want companionship from someone who has their act together.
Stability is also a huge factor when it comes to kids and remember, our kids are the most important things to us. Having a steady job and a long term plan for your life is a serious plus.
3.) Be Okay with Working Around a Tight Schedule. Single moms do it all. We work, take care of the kids, take them to extra curricular activities, and maintain the house. Not to mention, it’s not always easy to get a babysitter. This means date nights and romantic time could be few and far between.
If your schedule is flexible dates can happen more often. Also, if the woman you are dating just can’t get a babysitter, be open to family activites like board game night or baseball games.
4.)Be on the Same Page. If the woman you are interested in just recently ended a long term relationship now is probably not a good time to date her. You need to give her apropriate time to heal, in my opinion a minimum of six months after the split. Otherwise you might just end up as a rebound guy and lose all hope of ever landing a serious relationship.
If your intentions are being in a serious relationship but hers are just casual dating you might just want to call it quits now.
In the end everyone’s personal preferences on dating and relationships are different. If you can check off the above four guidelines then you might have some luck dating a single mom. Just remember to take it slow, especially if you are the first person she dates after ending a long term relationship.
What advice would you give a man who is interested in dating a single mom?