Getting back into dating after ending a long term relationship is tough. If you are a single parent you have to think about your kids as well as yourself. While there is no certain amount of time you need to wait before stepping back into the playing field, the most important thing is that you have healed from the prior relationship.
Dating After Divorce
The time needed to heal is different for everyone. It has been nine months since the ex and I made the split but I don’t feel like I am fully healed yet. Casual dating could be in the picture for me but at this point a serious relationship doesn’t look like it’s in my near future.
I still need to figure out who I am on my own and find happiness within myself before thinking of finding hapiness with someone else.
Feeling Like You Need Someone
I’m not going to lie, after I moved out of the ex’s house and into my dads, one of the first feelings I had was loneliness. I felt like I needed a man with me. I started to feel desperate…….
I ended up spending some time with an old friend from high school. I thought that I needed to replace the ex with someone new. My emotions were at an all time high and I looked to him to make me feel better. When my kids would go visit their dad I would go visit my old friend.
This was a HUGE mistake. I was vulnerable and easily influenced. This short lived fling made my confidence plummet. I was an easy target for him – way too needy and just wanted a man beside me.
After a couple of weeks of hanging out with him I realized how dumb I was being. I didn’t need a man, I was fine by myself. What I needed was to figure out who I was and who I wanted to be. I stopped hanging out with him when I didn’t have the kids and instead focused on myself. (And voila – Single Moms Income was born.)
So if you are still at a vulnerable place, DO NOT DATE. Spend your free time working on yourself. Find a hobby you can pour yourself into. Don’t be an easy target for a man looking for a booty call.
Factors to Consider About Dating
If you are healed and ready to get out on the dating scene, there are plenty of important factors to consider, especially if you are looking for a long term relationship.
- Does he like kids?
- Does he have kids?
- Stable Job
- His Living Situation
- How he makes you feel
The first four factors are all about stability. When you are a single mom you have to think about the situations that you are going to put your kids in and kids need stablity. And of course you want somebody who makes you feel like you are on top of the world- don’t settle for anything less.
We have all made mistakes in the relationship department but instead of dwelling on what went wrong we can learn from them and eventually we will find whats right!
I know how hard it is to put yourself out there so I want to do a little series on single moms dating or anything to do with past/present relationships. So if you want to submit a guest post or have a story to share please email me.
Out of curiousity, how long do you think you should wait to date? Do you think there are any age limitations? Would you date an older/younger man? I wanna know what you think!
Photo Credit: Photo Stock