Five years ago, I paid off my credit cards. While I’m a happily married woman and mother of seven now, at the time I got out of debt, I was a divorced, single mom of four children. When I came across Alexa’s blog, I felt an immediate kinship with her because my story is similar: I also had to bootstrap it and hustle to grow a business that would take care of me and my kids. I’m not special, and I’m not all that talented. So if I can do it, you can too.
Here’s how a single mom can get out of debt.
Talk to Your Kids
If your children are old enough, talk to them about your goal of being debt free. (If they’re little they probably won’t notice or care about the lifestyle changes.) Talk up the fun things you’ll do once you meet your goal. You’ll be teaching them very important money smarts, and you’ll get them on your side as well. Kids can be great at holding you accountable! Have your kids make a list of all the free and inexpensive things they like to do for fun. Have them help you brainstorm ways to save. Make it an exciting challenge, and not a drudgery.
Build An Emergency Fund
The first thing I did when I decided to pay off debts was to sock away emergency money in a savings account. This enabled me to not stress when the inevitable rainy day moments struck. Having money in savings made me feel wealthy. It’s a huge psychological boost.
Make Debt the Enemy
Cut up your credit cards. Vow to never, ever use them again no matter what. Get angry. It will motivate you to work hard to be free! If you’re religious, meditate on Proverbs that warn against debt.
Make Sacrifices
When I was paying off debts, I bought no new clothes for myself. (And only necessary items like shoes for the kids.) I sold CDs and books I liked, figuring I could buy them later when my circumstances changed. I never did, because things aren’t as valuable to us as we think they are. This is called fallacy of ownership. (Google it.) I lived with my parents for awhile so that I could build my business and not have to pay rent. Even though we got along great, it was still difficult emotionally. How bad do you want it?
Fill Your Bucket
When you’re doing something that’s against the grain, something that will require months or years of hard work and sacrifice, you have to constantly fill your mind with positive, encouraging thoughts. I read stacks of books on personal finance (free from the library of course!). I listened to Dave Ramsey’s radio show. I read stories of successful people online. I took pages of notes. I listened to audio recordings of motivational speakers. Keep your bucket full.
Use Visuals
I’m a visually motivated person and so are many of us. Seeing our goals out in front of us is exciting and keeps them in the forefront of our mind. I put a large poster board chart on my office wall with a line graph. It had lines for my debt, income and savings, each in a different color. It was so exciting to see my savings and income grow each month (funny how that happens!) while my debt got smaller.
Track Your Spending
This is a habit I kept, long after paying off debt. I made it a practice to write down every single penny that left my purse. This habit alone increases mindfulness and helps stop leaks in your budget.
Developing the self-discipline and good money habits you need to pay off debt will stick with you the rest of your life. In addition, they create “spillover” which means you’ll probably notice positive changes in other areas of your life.
Carrie Willard is the author of Slash Your Grocery Budget and Eat a Whole Foods Diet with ALDI
Great stuff here. It’s never easy working yourself out of a tough situation and into a better one, but it can almost always be done. You need to find ways to eliminate the obstacles, automate the actions that will help, and as you said keep yourself motivated. It might be a long journey, but it’s always worth it.
Getting out of debt is always a challenge because it requires making lifestyle changes and sacrifices as well as a mindset shift. Accomplishing that as a single parent with 4 kids is all the more impressive! I’m sure sharing your strategies with others who are struggling will be much appreciated.
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Nice job Carrie! 7 kids!!! Whew I though just having a cat was challenging. 🙂
Hey Carrie, what a great way to take control of your financial life regardless of the situation. I like the track your spending part of the list, given that I do pretty much all the other stuff you mention 🙂 It’s amazing how money just seems to “get lost” somewhere between a lazy afternoon walk and home!
Thanks again for sharing and all the best.
Lyle
Good on you for getting rid of that credit card debt. I especially liked your tip about making sacrifices. I think that’s the hardest one as we’re inundated with stories about people “having it all” and we commonly don’t have to make difficult choices. We can have the house, and the car, and the clothes, and the job, and the family, and the vacations, and so on. The concept of having to give something up in order to get something better, even if only for a short while, is rarer than it should be.
Thanks for this post!
Yes … I was listening to the Dave Ramsey show yesterday and tweeted something he said. “The deeper the level of sacrifice, the quicker the mess is cleaned up.” Ain’t it the truth. 🙂
Wow, Carrie. Congrats!!!! I love your message here about doing what needs to be done. It’s not easy to sacrifice things to make your goals, but definitely worth it. As a (married, one-income) mom of 4 with a ton of debt right now, you’ve really inspired me. Thank you!!!
Thanks Laurie!
Wow, you’ve got an incredible story. So many people go into debt just on their own without having to care for 7 kids! I love the advice “fill your bucket”! well said
That’s absolutely vital. It’s so easy to get discouraged. Filling the bucket is essential to keep our energy and hope up.
That’s awesome that you were able to get out of debt while you were a single mom. Now you’re setting an awesome example for your kids.
Tracking on all your spending gives you an overall insight of your financial situations. You can always figure out which is drawing more from your budget and cut down those costs. Spending wisely and cutting your credit cards definitely helps you to become debt free
Hey Alexa, another great post here…which doesn’t surprise me at all. It’s great that you were able to work yourself through a bad financial spot, sometimes it can feel impossible but, you rose above it! I know how many people struggle trying to make ends meet and pay off debts. Anyway, thanks for the great post, I’ll see you around the blogosphere!
Tracking your spending and making debt the enemy are great tips for attacking debt. Honestly, it’s never easy to come up with the extra money or to change your lifestyle to eliminate debt. It takes commitment and persistence.
Great job! I can’t imagine doing that with four children. I think surrounding yourself with positive messages is very important in a situation like that. Most people would not choose to make the sacrifices that you did because it’s much easier to make excuses than to take the harder path. What a great example to others in debt.
Great post… I really relate to your decision to cut out the books and CDs… it’s sometimes hard to realize we really don’t need any of that stuff. Congrats on making it!
Thank you for sharing your wisdom, Carrie! I’m going to make my own graph right now. I’m very visual, and I need to see things moving to keep up motivation.
Great job getting out of debt! I can’t imagine having 4 kids and still being able to save money. Sacrifice is right and you have taught your kids very valuable lessons by being so proactive about paying down your debt.
I do trust all of the ideas you’ve introduced in your
post. They’re very convincing and will certainly work.
Nonetheless, the posts are too quick for novices.
Could you please prolong them a bit from next time?
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I love this post. I especially love your first point about talking to your kids. So many times we feel like we can’t tell our kids the truth about our money situation. My husband and I recently paid off our mortgage and our kids where a huge part of that. We wanted them to know that we weren’t saying no for no reason and I am not sure how they learn about budgeting if they don’t see you doing it and practicing it in your life.
As part of our journey I started making and selling pretty envelope sets on Etsy. https://www.etsy.com/shop/CraftySundays
My 9 year old asked me to make her envelopes too so she could budget and helps me put together my sets to sell. We have brought our kids along our journey in hopes that they will do even better than we did. Glad to see another parent incorporate their kids into their debt-free journey