I have no problem at all talking about my money problems, accomplishments, and goals. But for some reason talking about my love life is a little bit harder. And, I guess I could credit this to the events that have taken place in my life over the past few years.
Awhile back I wrote a series of articles on dating as a single parent. At that time I kind of felt like my dating life would be hopeless and that I wouldn’t be able to really be happy with anyone else for a variety of reasons.
I was wrong.
As many of you know I did start dating. Seeing as I pretty much never leave the house I’m amazed that I was able to find someone really great. (I’ll let you in on a little secret…….he’s my bosses best friend. I know, I know probably not the best decision to make but I’m quitting anyway so nothing should be too messy.) So, I met him at work.
I just want to offer all of the offer single mothers a little encouragement. I feel like I may have gotten really, really lucky to have found someone who almost seems perfect for me. But, it can be done!
Actually at first it was almost awkward to be treated so good. I am not used to being treated like a princess or have someone holding on to my every word and, at first I didn’t even know how to respond to this!! Over the past couple of months I have gotten used to it and don’t think I’d ever settle for less now.
I thought it would be completely wrong to introduce my kids to a new man. That was probably my biggest worry and was constantly on my mind. But, I decided that he was a good guy and slowly (very slowly) brought him around my kids. It couldn’t have went better. They love him and don’t mind one teensy bit that mommy now has a friend. And he is great with them to boot!
In addition he is very supportive about me trying to a build an online business. And, he’s also okay with the fact that I spend an immense amount of time working on it. Something that I NEVER got from my ex-husband. And, we share a lot of the same money views. It’s really nice to be around someone who genuinely supports and encourages me.
Like I said. Once you figure out what being treated good really means you’ll NEVER be able to accept less. Which is great for your confidence and self-worth.
It feels weird but also good to get that off my chest. If you have been through a rough divorce or are just feeling lonely do NOT settle for less than you deserve. Break the cycle!
I was recently contacted by Match.com and got to ask their relationship expert my top questions about dating as a single parent and online dating. Here are my questions and what she had to say about each of them.
1. How long you should you talk to someone online before setting up a date?
The term “online dating” really is a misnomer, because you don’t actually DATE online – you just meet! The dating portion all happens in person, in the offline world, just like in any other dating scenario. You just happened to meet in an online community versus a community of bar-goers. I always encourage members to take their relationship offline sooner rather than later so you can tell if you both have chemistry as soon as possible. Get to know the person via email so you feel comfortable, but set up a date before too many back-and-forth emails. You’re not on Match.com to find a pen pal!
2. Is it typical for people to exaggerate on their profiles? How do you tell if they’re being truthful?
It is pointless to exaggerate anything in a profile – it just leads to major disappointment, so keep it real. I always say “put your best self out there,” just make sure it is YOU. The truth of whatever you might have exaggerated will come out if the relationship develops, so why start down a new path with an embellished story?
3. How do you find someone who is ok with the fact that you have children?
That’s the great thing about Match, it’s a very straightforward process when creating your profile and entering details about you, your life, and who you are looking for: Along with your basic details like age, where you’re searching, and your ethnicity, there are two fields related to children: “Have Kids” and “Want Kids.” This makes it easy for potential matches who come across your profile to get a good grasp of your life circumstances and situations like children BEFORE making contact. And don’t think being a single parent is a turn off – over 2/3 of men are interested in dating a single mom (67%)!
4. What’s a good first date idea?
Start simple and keep it short. Meeting for coffee, tea, or drinks is always a great option. If you hit it off, there’s the opportunity to have a longer date for date two!
I personally have never used an online dating site. But I did have a guest post from Sarah a few months back who found her fiance on Match.com after going through a divorce. Match is also beginning to offer special events exclusively for Single Parents.
Disclosure: This post is sponsored by Match.com but all opinions and stories are mine unless noted otherwise.
Have you ever used online dating sites? What is your experience?
I used online dating years ago before I met my wife…didn’t really meet too many people but that was in the infancy of online dating. I know two couples who got married recently who met online…one couple did use Match.com.
Wonderful post Alexa and thanks for allowing us into your life like this 🙂
I have been single now for 16 years and I love it. Of course not everyone is like me, which is probably a good thing 🙂
I had tried online dating myself a bunch of years ago with little success. I didn’t use Match.com though but used one of their larger paid competitors. Suffice it to say, the experience was less than enjoyable and I since backed off from online dating, although I don’t dismiss it altogether.
It is really great to see all aspects of your life coming together nicely. And while I don’t know you at all – except from what I read here – I would say that you deserve all the success and happiness you get out of life.
Of course, if that boyfriend guy doesn’t work out…I’m in the book 🙂
Just kidding!!
Take care Alexa and all the best.
Lyle