The following is a guest post from Zenobia.
The distance between the daily, messy, just-trying-to-get-through-the-day lives of the average single mother and the powerful CEOs of major companies looks huge from where most of us are standing. What does it mean to be CEO of your life when you can barely get your toddler to put on their shoes and you haven’t washed your hair in days because of sheer exhaustion?
It’s about positioning yourself, in your own mind, as the creator and manager of your own life. Being CEO of your life means asking yourself the question: If my life was a book and I was the author, how would I like it to end? Here are a few ideas that will help you create a story you’ll be proud of.
Take responsibility. Take control.
The first step is to take responsibility for your life – both where you’ve been and where you’re going. This can be hard, especially if you have a lot of issues with your ex or other people in your life. It’s not about making what they did right but it’s about really owning your part in it.
This is called self-accountability and it’s not about beating yourself. It’s about looking at yourself in the mirror and really seeing yourself outside of ego and the painful stories in your head. This is no cake walk but here’s a useful rule of the thumb when dealing with this prickly topic: Ask yourself what you would say to your child and say it to yourself. Why? Because that insecure, irrational part of yourself is your inner child and like all children, it needs to be guided with compassion and understanding.
Set your objectives
Imagine a CEO stepping in front of a crowd of shareholders and saying, “We’re just going to play it by ear this year and see where that takes us.” I don’t think so. No CEO worth their salt would dare start the year without clear 5 year objectives and a plan to meet them. Well, that’s common sense in the business world but in our everyday lives, where everything changes on a second by second basis, it seems like a pipe dream.
Although, it’s true that you can’t be as specific as you’d like when it comes to your ever-changing life but you still can create a vision. When you have a bigger goal for the next few months to a year it’s much easier to let go of the ‘bad days’ and learn from them. Plus setting goals as a family is one of the best ways to get everyone on the same team and teach important life skills to your children.
If you can see it, you can be it
An interview with Tony Robbins and two successful CEOs asked the question why so many people never follow through on their goals. To cut a long story short, it basically boils down to one thing: Belief.
Do you believe that everything you have planned will become a reality? Do you know that you are worthy of your wildest dreams? Do you have that sense of certainty that it’s only a matter of time? If you are going to be CEO of your life you need to believe in yourself and your dreams. How do you develop belief? By using the power of visualization.
Each of these CEOs, as well as Tony Robbins, made the habit of visualizing their goals and dreams until they felt certain that they were inevitable and you could do the same with any anything you want. When you see and feel it on a regular basis, it’s easy to believe it. After that, you’re just a few steps from making it happen.
Get a team together
Being a single mom doesn’t mean you have to do it all alone. Even the most effective CEO is only as good as her team. Think of ways you can get people on board to help you with the everyday stuff like picking up the laundry and making dinner. Get a few friends together and start a babysitting co-op; make full use of grandmas and grandpas; get some hired help – be creative and use the power of delegation. This allows you more time to focus on the important things like being there for your children.
Becoming the CEO of your life may take a little effort up front but it’ll pay off big time in self-esteem, more time for the important things and goals achieved. There is no rule that says you have to struggle forever, you can take control of your life and turn it into something you’re proud of; and it all starts in your head.
About the Author: Zenobia Mkhize is a copywriter, journalist, creative, believer-in-the-impossible, mother and entrepreneur. She has made it her life mission to change the narrative around being a single mother and helping as many people possible to reach their fullest potential. Get access to her free report, 76 Productivity Tips for Single Moms – Double Your Free Time and Still Get Everything Done, here