The month is more than half way over. Even though I set goals that were important to me, it seems I’m only getting about half of them done. Which is kind of a bummer.
I started digging deep, wondering why some of the goals I set were easy to attain while others were a real challenge.
Here’s what I discovered. (And what I think will help you, too.)
Specificity = Actionable
One goal that I’ve done amazingly well with, and that has now become a natural part of my daily routine, is Reading a Chapter of Proverbs a day.
I’ve read at least a chapter a day, sometimes reading up to four. It’s safe to say that before the end of the month I’ll be well into another book of the Bible.
This goal is easy and super specific. I didn’t just say that I’d read the Bible (like I did in the past) – I said I’d read one chapter of Proverbs each day. That’s a pretty easy goal to accomplish and I know exactly what I need to do.
Now let’s look at another goal. “Reading to my kids everyday” that goal is so generic that it’s hard to stick to. For one, my girls go to their Dads every other weekend, making it impossible to read to them every day. Secondly, with Kailyn now in school our lives have become a little more chaotic than usual, there are just some days when reading doesn’t happen. People stop over, the girls are tired, or we have prior commitments. By making the goal so open I’m setting myself up to automatically feel like a failure.
In order for goals to be actionable they need to be a lot more specific.
(This would also apply to my make $3k this month without mapping out a plan.)
Trying to Make Goals too Big to Stick
{Kailyn determined to learn how to ride her bike without training wheels in one afternoon.}
I’ve also been struggling to get my eBook done and it’s really bothering me. After all, I feel like this book is me. It’s the message I want to share, so writing it should be easy, right?
Not exactly.
I couldn’t figure out why I had such a hard time writing this for an hour a day until listening to this podcast on Bullet Proof Exec with the founder of Pavlok – a habit changing system.
You see, I’m used to working on other people’s projects all day. Working on my own stuff doesn’t come naturally. I’m in the habit of first doing what others need before doing what I need to do, which often means that I don’t work on my stuff at all. So instead of saying that I’m going to write the eBook for an hour a day, first thing in the morning, I need to start smaller.
According to Maneesh Sethi (founder of Pavlok) habits are more likely to stick when you take them slow and steady. For instance, instead of making the goal to write an hour a day I need to make it five or ten minutes a day.
That’s easy to accomplish and chances are, once I log in my five minutes of writing I’ll feel the need to keep going until I’ve said all I could for the day. Plus this gets me into the habit of just opening my Word Doc and writing.
If I only write for five minutes I still feel accomplished. I don’t feel like a failure.
October Goals Revamped
If your goals aren’t working you should take a good look at them and make changes where necessary. It doesn’t matter if it’s the end of the month, week, or year. The sooner you change your system the closer you’ll be to achieving success.
Here is a revise of my goals:
Read a Chapter of Proverbs Each Day – This is a good strong goal!
Read to the Kids Everyday – *REVISED* Read the following books to the kids (just for the rest of the month. Doesn’t count everything we’ve already read.)
- Help Kailyn Read We Love to Share and On the Playground
- Read Charlie the Ranch Dog Goes to the Doctor
- Read a Few Nursery Rhymes of the Girls’ Choosing
- Read Five Chapters of the Children’s Bible
- Read again – Creepy Carrots and There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly (our favorites right now!)
Save $500 – Good goal I’m already in the habit of doing this.
Earn $3,000 this Month – *REVISED* I set a priority list of things that will help me make more money in the long term. I’m going to keep working on these which should result in stronger income in the following months.
Write eBook for 5 Hours Per Week – *REVISED* Open up Word Doc and write for ten minutes per day. (To develop the habit!)
Why do you think there are some goals you don’t seem to stick with? Do you revise your goals often?
You’re so right about making goals achieveable- I read somewhere (I think it was the Paid to Exist blog) about setting goals that you know you’ll be able to achieve, so that you’re setting yourself up for success instead of failure. It seems so obvious, but for some reason it’s not until someone points it out to you.
Great article by the way, and good luck achieving your goals this month!
I think by achieving we’re more likely to have that motivation that makes us go the next step. On the flip side, I feel like goals should be a challenge, but not impossible. Habit formation on the other hand needs to be taken slow and steady.
You might be on to something there. Lately when I sit down to write I’ve been feeling pretty scatter-brained and feel like I just waste an hour. Perhaps I need to try this exercise with just 5 to 10 minutes.
If you haven’t already check out the Bulletproof Exec blog. I think it’d be something you’re interested in.
Specificity is such a great point. I’m guilty of making these wildly optimistic to-do/goal lists that don’t include specifics or tactics for how to actually accomplish them. I am getting better at estimating how much time it will take me to do things, which has always been a problem for me. I’m a time optimist :)! Good luck with your revamped goals!
A time optomist ? that’s hillarious!
~ C
Thanks. I might be a time optimist as well 🙂
It’s so important to have specific goals for the reason you stated above – they’re actionable. It is also important to have a vision, which isn’t actionable. But you have to be more specific to accomplish what you want. For example, if your financial vision is to be wealthy and be a financial example for your kids, that’s really great. But to make it happen, you not only need an overarching plan (e.g. to become debt free and save), but you also need specific short-term and long-term goals. In my example, maybe your one year goal would be to get out of credit card debt. And every month you would pay an extra $300 on top of your minimum to make it happen. It’s all about the plan and have specific actions that will help you achieve your goals and ultimately move toward your vision.
Well said. Having a big vision is great but unless you break it down into actionable steps it’ll never become a reality.
This is such a great post and something I continue to struggle at times. Still a work in progress but I will get there.
I continue to be a work in progress too 🙂
what ??? Have you been reading my mind ???? I woke up thinking about the goals I don’t get done ! I have a lot of trouble on the weekends when my kids are at their Dad’s. It seems like I should have loads of time then, but I don’t get stuff done. I’m wondering if I need to make a lunch date or something. Thinking that I have ” all weekend” seems to let me put things off and not keep track of time. Aslo, I pout a little about missing the kids. I know I should be making dinner for the rest of the week or having fun or making money…. but i seem to stare off in to space ? whats up with that ?
~ C
Am I the only one that does this ?
You’re not the only one! I often fantasize about all the things I’ll do when my kids are at their Dads and I might do a quarter of the things on my list. It’s not always a bad thing though. Sometimes it’s nice to just relax and not worry about being productive 🙂
I think my problem is that I don’t set enough goals in the first place. Usually I just procrastinate, then draw up a super long to do list and hope I get something done.
It sounds like setting some small consistent goals is a good way to get you on track 🙂 None of us are capable of doing everything so remember that when you set those goals!
This came at the right time for me as it’s time to set some new goals. I’ve achieved several and now have my eye on some new goals for the end of the year and 2015. Will use this advice and make things happen.
I need to work on developing the habits I need for these last few months of the year so that I can make 2015 awesome. Good luck with all of your goals!
When it comes to reading to the kids, we have always made it a point to have some books in their room, so reading is part of the bedroom routine. Now that both are in school (1st grade and kindergarten) they also bring home assigned reading and a library book each week. The minute the books come in they go straight in their rooms or it won’t happen! So now each night they read to me/hubby from the assigned books and then we read to them. Having it part of another routine you already have in place may help (like while they are in the bath or at dinner time). Having them not there sometimes probably makes it a hard habit to form on its own because you’re time with them isn’t consistent.
Our biggest struggle is homework! Working outside the home means we get about 2.5 hours each night and it’s hard to fit it in with cooking/eating, baths and trying to give them SOME free time. I always feel like they go from 6am until dinner in a constant state of “sit still and do as the adults tell you” and then I have to make them do it more. Mommy Guilt!!!
I know about that Mommy Guilt! And reading when they’re in the bath is such a great idea. They usually sit in the bath for twenty minutes each night so that could be a great way to make reading more of a routine.
And is it just me or is it weird that Kindergartners have homework every night? I’ve got to constantly remind myself to have Kailyn do her homework.
CrazyTown!
And in our school it comes in a folder with everything for the week…like a college syllabus!
I just told my husband that homework is teachers revenge on the parents. Way more work for us! My poor 6yo basically ate dinner and spent the whole rest of the evening doing homework. Now it’s bath and bedtime (more reading for her). No wonder kids are so stressed.
Haha it is revenge on the parents lol Ours comes in a folder too. Kailyn (kindergarten) has a binder she brings back and forth to school everyday and every Monday there is a packet of homework for the week. (But is not supposed to be done all at once!) Plus she comes home with a folder of books we’re supposed to read for ten minutes everyday and we have to mark that off the list so that she can get a prize every moth.
This resonates with me, especially the part about doing everybody else’s stuff instead of my own. For years, I taught writing classes, prepared for those classes, and graded papers. I was also a writing coach/editor for other writers, helping them launch their careers. Now I’m in a new stage of life. I quit all of those things to focus on my own writing, but that has been so hard! I’m simply not used to devoting all this time to me and mine. It feels selfish and indulgent. I’m working to get beyond that and realize that it’s the season now for me to wholeheartedly focus on my own writing. It’s a big mental shift! I’m going to revisit my goals and make sure they are not “out there someday somewhere” goals, and also make sure that the goals I’m setting truly reflect this season of life and the big picture I’m trying to accomplish. Thanks again for sharing the wisdom you’ve learned!
It’s such a hard habit to break! I’ve been telling myself for months that I need to work on my own stuff more. It’s amazing the urge I get to work on everyone else’s stuff and make sure that it gets done and gets done right but when it comes to my stuff….I don’t know. It’s not there.
If I worked on my own projects like I did for other people I’d probably be in a much better place right now. Baby steps….
Great advice. I’ve definitely had trouble making my short term goals too ‘big’. Breaking them down helps me keep myself motivated and accountable.
I’m struggling with shiny bright objects taking me away from doing ‘my’ stuff. I like the 10 minute writing rule. I’ve started using a timer but for 30 minutes. Now if I could do so every day, but for less time, that may be a good approach.
I read up a lot on the research of that habit formation, or specifically, the way Maneesh Sethi suggest doing it. And from their studies when people started trying to form a habit first starting with something easy (like writing for ten minutes a day) the habit formed in 21 days. When someone tried to from a bigger habit it took around 45 days for the habit to stick.
So it’s looking like slow and steady is the way to go 🙂