There are many times when your child was young that we had to deal with tantrums. Here are effective strategies to deal with teen temper tantrums. Remember the time when your little one wanted candy at the grocery store and you said “no”?. This is when it all started you used a number of tactics such as ignoring it, trying to reason, diverting the subject, and sometimes giving in.
Successful Strategies to Deal with Teen Temper Tantrums
The days where your little one had a tantrum over candies have now gone. Your little toddler is now a feisty teenager. Now that your child is in the phase of seeking independence the tantrums will continue just in different forms. Yelling, door slamming, the silent treatment, scowls, and lots of passive-aggressive behavior. They will also refuse to do things you expect because they are mad about something.
All this outward behavior can be frustrating, stressful, and exhausting. Fear not we have a list of the effective strategies to deal with teen temper tantrums in this post.
Reward Behavior That Builds Your Trust
No matter what age we humans will repeat good behavior that ends up in a reward. Remember when you rewarded your little toddler for helping with house chores, picking up toys, or even going potty? .The same applies here with your teen.
There are many ways in which you can reward your teen for good behavior. Choose a reward that works best for you. A good example could be letting your teen drive to the mall or a movie or for younger teens allowing them to play on an electronic device. These rewards can be given for your teen meeting a curfew or even helping around the house.
Depending on your budget you might even be able to provide your teen with material rewards. How about money for a video game or a new top or jeans?. Rewarding your teen for good behavior tends to work well long term. If you have rewards in place your teen will see it as a valuable way to listen and is more likely to repeat actions in the future.
Build Trust – When Tantrums Are Not Happening
Building trust with your teen isn’t easy and it happens over time. However, it’s very important to build this trust relationship between Parent and child. It’s important your teen trust you and the rules you have set in place are reasonable and necessary. In addition, you’ll also need to trust your teen to make decisions whether good or bad.
When you’re not stressed and your teen is also calm it’s important to hold conversations. Open communication is a great way to build trust with your child. Conversations can be about anything friends, family, school, etc they don’t have to be just about rules.
The day you become more open with your teen the more open your teen will be with you. They will end up coming to you when they have questions and worries in life which is what you need.
Why not try starting a conversation with your teen about the stress you feel at work or even about a relationship with a friend. You can ask questions such as how would you cope? or what would you do in this situation?. By doing so your teen will become more mature when answering your questions, they will also start to trust you more as a parent due to your openness.
Once the trust has been developed you can calmly explain the rules you’ve put in place and the reason for them. It’s not going to be easy to gain the trust of your teen as not all interactions will go as smoothly as expected. However, when the trust is built you’ll definitely see fewer teen tantrums.
Ignore The Temper Tantrums
If you ignore the temper tantrums they are likely to disappear quickly. Now that you have a teen, once all the screaming and shouting is over it tends to go quiet. With a toddler, the anger tends to subside, however, with a teen it tends to stay. Although all the yelling has stopped the angry tend to stay a lot longer and as a parent, this is something you need to respect.
Trying to Reason with an emotional teen is like suicide and very foolish. This can escalate the behavior and make them even more angry. If your teen is having a tantrum at home it’s best to ignore them and let them calm down. However, this may be more difficult if you’re out and about.
Wait until your teen is ready to come out of their room or engage in conversation with you. Ask them how they are or change the subject don’t address the tantrum or its cause. By you ignoring the tantrum may help your teen engage in conversation about what made them angry in the first place.
If the anger is due to a rule you’ve made don’t second guess it. There are reasons why we parents set these rules and they are for good reasons. It could be about a party they want to attend or a curfew time but stick to your rules don’t let your teen bully you out of them. The best way to overcome this is by calmly reinforcing the rule and advising your teen about your reason for them.
Use Influence By Modeling Behavior
During conflict, it’s important to use influence by modeling behavior. Your teen will need to learn how to use influence when reasoning with you rather than temper tantrums.
It’s important you advise your child how their behavior may work for them in the future. As questions such as I can see that you yell and slam your door when you’re angry? How is this working for you?. Advise them that this will not work in the future and there are better ways in which they can influence a decision.
You need to let your teen know that there reasonable ways of persuasion that could work. If your teen wants to go out to the mall or movies with her friends that’s fine. However, there are reasonable ways in which a parent may say yes or no. Such as can I go to the mall with my friends? I’ve completed all my chores and cleaned my room. Or I’ve finished my homework and I won’t be back late.
Another thing you may want to emphasize is that a good argument may not always mean they get what they want. They need to build trust and master the skill not always get what they want straight away.
Remember Your Teen Has Stress
Stress will impact your teen’s mood as it does yours. There are many times we as parents feel stressed or angry the same applies to your teen. When we feel less stressed out mood changes and we feel a lot happier. It’s important you consider your teen’s feelings in the same way when stressed.
When your teen is angry it may not be the real cause of the stress for example your teen may be stressed about a bad grade or a relationship break up however it may not be the cause of the anger. If your teen is angry at you for rules you’ve set or something you’ve made for dinner these may not be the cause of the anger it may be due to other underlying issues.
If you stay calm and relax your rules a little you may get through to your teen and they may be willing to talk to you about the real cause of their anger. The best way to open the conversation would be to mention any stress-related issues your experiencing at the moment as mentioned above. This will enable your teen to really open up and confide in you as a parent.
Some stress-related issues may be ones in which you can assist and make things easier. Maybe your teen has a number of essays where they cannot meet all the deadlines. If your unable to help you can see if the teacher provides extra help or you can find a tutor that can help. There are many online writing aids that can help such as Khan Acadamy, Classy Essay, and Top Essay Writing.
Understand The Emotional Point Of Your Teen
The thing you need to know about teens is that they feel self-centered. The teen world is focused around themselves and their needs and wants and very rarely will they consider others.
Your teen will also feel like they are entitled to do things. This is because their parents have been meeting their needs and wince since they were born and feel they should now. As they feel you should meet their needs and wants they feel more freedom. it’s important you understand their needs however make sure they don’t turn into conflict. It’s a normal part of your child growing into adulthood and should be understood.
It’s important you provide your teen with the support they need. Relax rules when appropriate. However do not compromise on rules that are important to you.
Effective Strategies to Deal with Teen Temper Tantrums- Conclusion
It’s important for you to remember your teen is going through a process from being a teen to turning into an adult and temper tantrums are a part of this process. It’s easy to deal with this process with these effective strategies to deal with teen temper tantrums.
There are many simple ways your teen can gain their independence. Over time your teen will learn how to deal with conflicts and issues in an adult way by taking advice and guidance from you as a parent. It’s important you remain the adult and stay calm, firm, focused, and supportive. You’ll also need to reward good behavior when appropriate to build trust. In return, you’ll gain the trust of your teen and feel a lot closer to them which is the best reward a parent could give.